Listening to: tv
Feeling: evil
i feel like the most horrible person alive. mike is...oh fuck...miriah said she called him, and he's really upset...becuase of me. i feel so horrible. i cant help that i still love josh..i know that sounds really bad to most of you who know him..but i cant help it. he probly doesnt care two shits about the way i feel but i dont care about that either. i like mike..a lot. and i hope he knows that, i told him today. oh if josh would just tell me to fuck off..or that he doenst care about me like that anymore, i would forget it all..but he wont. he keeps making me wonder and its agonizing
Roxzygirl15: you said you broke up cause you didn't like him that much....
ladyxofxshalott0: well..thatsnot what i meant to say
ladyxofxshalott0: its the only thing i could think of
ladyxofxshalott0: i broke up with him beacuse of josh
Roxzygirl15: ok
Roxzygirl15: ok
ladyxofxshalott0: i didnt want to
ladyxofxshalott0: if josh wasnt here..i'd stay with mike
ladyxofxshalott0: but i cant
ladyxofxshalott0: bc i feel like its not right
Roxzygirl15: i don't get you... mike is great... fuck josh you had a great guy and josh doesn't even want you
ladyxofxshalott0: how do you know that
ladyxofxshalott0: he could
Roxzygirl15: he loves stacy... that's all he ever talks about... he always talks to me about how much he loves her...
ladyxofxshalott0: well i have to hear it from him first
Roxzygirl15: whatever....
yeah...i feel like shit. why am i so stupid. can someone tell me that. she's right you know..josh doenst care a bit about me...and mike is probably the greatest guy i've ever dated.
fuck me i hate myself
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