"(.It.has.not.healed.with.time. .It.just.shot.down.my.spine. .You.look.so.beautiful.tonight. .Remind.me.how.you.laid.us.down. .And.gently.smiled. .Before.you.destroyed.my.life.)" (.It is now 3:14 in the morning,i cannot sleep.Tonite was horrible.I cant take this any longer.I need out.) (.My mom was drinking again.Too much.Her friend that was drinking with her left filling my mothers heads with thoughts that she should get her life back with my dad.It was 1:30 am and she makes my father come over.I knew exactly what was going to happen,and i was right.I heard them talking,of course my dad told her he was moving on with his life,hes had a gf for a couple years.But i know my mom,she would never do something like that if she was sober.She stormed upstairs,crying for about a half an hour.) (.She couldnt even talk with making scense.She came downstairs and kept going on about what a horrible person i am.That what i do best is ruining her life.How much she hates me.Allthough i know she doesnt mean it,because of the state she is in,it still hurts.) (.She doesnt deserve to have a life like that.She does everything for me n the rest of the kids.We used to be so close.The past couple years have been hell.) (.I want to move to my dads.But i know what will happen if i did.I cant take that risk.I just need to get away from here for awile.Get away from all this shit.) (.I live a normal life outside of home.The only time i really talk about these things is in here.) (.I am not sure what my plans are for tomorrow.Im obviously sleeping in.Then no clue.Probably not be in the mood for anything.Or maybe ill get out of this fuking place and get my mind off things,n hang out with sum people.) (.Havent been snowboardin yet this year.Havent even taken my board out.Hmm theres an idea.Maybe ill find a ride out to the hills.Ahhhh.2 more days till shaun gets back.Want to see him so bad.) (.keep.it.real.)